17 Aug

Time for Laughs

By Zara S

One Liners

Where does a sheep go for a haircut? To the baaaaabaaaaa shop!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

Why are pirates so mean? I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!

What do you call cheese that’s not yours? It’s nacho cheese.

What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armour? A knight light.

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!

Why did the orange stop? Because, it ran out of juice.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino!


Q: What is square and green?

A: A lemon in disguise


Q: How do you make an artichoke?

A: Strangle it

Q: What’s the fastest vegetable?

A: A runner bean


Date of Birth

Teacher: What is your date of birth?

Mac: October 13th

Teacher: Which year?

Mac: It is every year!


Q: What do you call two rows of vegetables?

A: A dual cabbage way

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

A: Because it wasn’t peeling well

Q: What is small, round and giggles a lot?

A: A tickled onion


100 Letters Word

Teacher : Can you spell a word which has more than 100 letters in it

Mac: P-O-S-T-B-O-X

Intelligent Answer

Teacher: What is an island?

Pupil: A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.

Teacher: On one side?

Pupil: Yes, on top!


Q: What’s the strongest vegetable?

A: A muscle sprout

Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple?

A: I’ve got you covered

Q: What did the traffic light say to the tomato crossing?

A: “Don’t look now, I’m changing”

Honest Answer

Teacher: If you had 5 apples in your plate and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?

Mac: A fight!

Make Up Test

Once there was a really dumb girl.She failed a test in the class.Her teacher wanted her to come in after the school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.The next day the girl brought lipstick and an eye -liner to school!

Calculators Talk

What does a calculator tell to other calculator?

You can count on me!

Knock, Knock

Who’s there? Lettuce

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and you’ll find out.


Longest Table

Where do you find longest table in the school?

It is in your bag, it is the multiplication table.

Going to High-School

Why did Mac bring a ladder to the school?

He wanted to go to High School.


What one pencil says to other pencil?

You look very sharp.


PT Teacher on 1st day,’Tom,can you tell me what does PT stand for?

Tom: It is Physical Torture.

Silly Puns

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs

Why was the man running around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

What does a robot frog say?

Rib-bot. (Said in your best robot voice)

What’s black and white, black and white, black and white?

A penguin rolling down a hill!

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work!

What does a snail say when it’s riding on a turtle’s back?


How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.

What’s mom and dad’s favorite ride at a fair?

A married-go-round!

Where do cows go on Friday night?

To the MOOvie theater.

Where do library books like to sleep?

Under their covers!

Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it’s two-tired!

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Boo who?

Please don’t cry. It’s only a joke.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Nobody who?

(Stay silent)

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cows say.

Cows say who?

No silly, cows say moo!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Owls say.

Owls say who?


Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Tank who?

You’re welcome!

Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?

A: Tomato paste!

Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?

A: Quit stalking me.

Q: What do fish call a submarine?

A: A can of people.

Q: Why do witches ride a broomsticks?

A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Q: Why is History like a fruit cake?

A: Because it’s full of dates!

Q: What is Dracula’s favourite food?

A: Neck-tarines

Q: What’s red and green & wears boxing gloves?

A: A fruit punch!

Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

A: So he wouldn’t be found in the strawberry patch.

Q: What did the carrot say to the tomato?

A: I don’t know. I didn’t even know Carrots could talk!

Q: What is the most romantic fruit salad?

A: A date with a peach.

Q: What do you get when you cross a potato with an onion?

A: A potato with watery eyes.

Q: Where were potatoes first fried?

A: In Greece

Q: Why did the man pour veggies all over the world?

A: He wanted peas on earth.

Q: What did the baby corn say to the Mum corn?

A: Where’s Popcorn

Q: Where do baby apes sleep?

A: In apricots

Q: What game do elephants love to play?

A: Squash

Q: If you had 5 oranges in one hand and 5 pears in the other hand what would you have?

A: Massive hands

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?

A: Fsh


« »